Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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