So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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