That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
