she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
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When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I could fuck to npr.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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