Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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