I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I intend to get homeless drunk
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone