Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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  (909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn
  Replies (14) Good night (4482) Bad night (521)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

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  (843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up. http://tfl.nu/l18e
  Replies (13) Good night (512) Bad night (4386) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

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  (612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq
  Replies (33) Good night (6182) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.

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  (703): I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/i5s6
  Replies (6) Good night (858) Bad night (4706) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now

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  (615): took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now http://tfl.nu/5whe
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (2338) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.

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  (727): i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats. http://tfl.nu/tu2s
  Replies (17) Good night (4484) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver

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  (212): at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver http://tfl.nu/1ssj
  Replies (10) Good night (2068) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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  (276): I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences. http://tfl.nu/f9jw
  Replies (8) Good night (3106) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

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  (641): Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples http://tfl.nu/d5pz
  Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (1595) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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  (440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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  (231): Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program. http://tfl.nu/4exh
  Replies (4) Good night (1007) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking

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  (812): I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking http://tfl.nu/99b5
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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  (206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five

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  (705): He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five http://tfl.nu/qd6j
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (354) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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