I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize