I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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