Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
