Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
babies were throwing up all over the place
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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