brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
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She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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