She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize