We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize