Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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