Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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