I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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