things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
