So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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