Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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