Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just tell him i said nine months
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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