I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
