Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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