Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.