I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit