i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
