If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
