My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
