When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
