I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize