Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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