Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As shirtless as possible
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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