i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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