I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize