Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
