Are we in a gay sports bar?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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