Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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