we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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