This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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