You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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