Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
