i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
