if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT