did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.