You made me cry and you don't even care
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini