i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
