The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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