i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize