As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize