As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
