His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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