The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
