I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize