WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize